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It might be easy to think that when someone makes the decision to follow Jesus Christ they have to give up everything they enjoy and turn to a life that has about as much excitement as being kicked in the crotch by David Beckham. It’s really not supposed to be that way.

Real Joy?

I remember having a conversation about this with a close friend of mine in our university cafeteria a few years ago. ‘Rich,’ she said, ‘I think it’s great that you take your faith seriously, but it’s just not for me.’ She continued saying, ‘I love sex and I love going out and getting drunk. I don’t want to feel bad about it.’ A few weeks later I saw with her again in the same cafeteria. While crying, she told me about a guy she met that weekend at a house party. They both got drunk and ended up sleeping together. She felt completely used and worthless. I didn’t say it at the time but I couldn’t help but wonder if her definition of fun had probably changed since our last chat.

Nowhere does the Bible say that Christians should expect a life of boredom. Following Jesus doesn’t mean you can never have sex (God is very pro-sex between a husband and a wife), smoke a cigar, have a beer, or rock out on air guitar to Bon Jovi whilst walking around your apartment in your underwear (am I the only one who does that?). But it does mean this – everything, absolutely everything, must come after Jesus and not before him.

So as I said before, following Jesus doesn’t mean giving up everything you like but it does mean a change in who you are living for. The Bible’s King David serves as a great example of this. In 2 Samuel 11 we read how David, after seeing Bathsheba bathing on a rooftop, sleeps with her even though she is married to another man. Things continue to spiral out of control to the point that David, after being confronted by one of God’s prophets and absolutely devastated by the grief he has caused, pours his heart out to God:

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Psalm 51

True Joy

David knew that true joy, the same type he had experienced before he even saw Bathsheba, could come only from God. David doesn’t beg God to punish him with a life of misery, nor do we read that God condemns David to eternal sorrow. Instead, David asks God to give him a ‘clean heart’, one that beats to the rhythm of God rather than his own. David, a man who knew ruled over a nation and knew wealth beyond anything you or I could imagine, still knew that real, unfading and eternal joy came only from God.

Life is way too predictable when you are living only for yourself. When you live for someone else, you open yourself up to possibilities and experiences that would have otherwise gone by unnoticed. A true encounter with Jesus Christ, the son of God, the Creator of the world, means the way you see the world will change. Your heart will be changed. What excites you will change and it will be anything but boring.

Rich Crosby is a Canadian living in Brighton who attends CCK with his unbelievably attractive wife. You can check out his own blog at http://richcrosby.blogspot.com

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Sometimes Christians have built a reputation for being legalistic and full of rules and regulations. When I came to know Jesus for myself I was delighted to read in John 10:10 ‘ I have come to give life in all its fullness’. It’s important that when we consider how God esteems sex it is through the lens of a loving father, not some sort of bearded toga-wearing kill-joy!

So what do we know about what God thinks of sex? Well, the first thing  worth saying is that God invented sex. He created it as a wonderful enjoyment for us to engage in, but in its proper context. We see this very wonderfully spelled out for us in a book in the Old Testament called Song of Songs. This is essentially a very sensual and romantic book between a man (King Solomon) and his wife. The fact that this is included in the Bible is a very strong endorsement of sex as a wonderful gift to be used in the context of marriage.

So, why the big deal?

Throughout the Old Testament and New, people were constantly exchanging the real God for material things (See Romans 1:26-27) only to realise that they did not satisfy. When we give sex this place in our lives, it becomes very destructive with marriages, families, finance and health being burnt up in its path. Sex is actually not just something for our own enjoyment, but is about serving the other person in the relationship. Imagine how some of these areas, currently a major problem in our society, would be impacted if we waited until marriage

• Decrease in unwanted Pregnancies. 

• Fewer cases of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. 

• Fewer Single parents left to struggle on their own. 

God’s purpose for sex

God wants us to be able to enjoy sex freely but within the bounds of biblical marriage, and even …….. wait for it …… considers it WORSHIP to Him! There are several reasons for this. Ultimately, Marriage between one man and one woman is about demonstrating Jesus’ amazing passionate love and commitment to his people (his bride, the Church, see Ephesians 5:21-31 for more on this) and fruitfully growing this ‘people’ in number. When we understand this it totally revolutionises our attitude to sex. It no longer becomes about merely self-gratification but about a picture of eternity.

Jesus doesn’t flirt with his people, he makes covenant promises with them so that they can enjoy a relationship with him in the security of total commitment. As Christians we are called to imitate Jesus, so all sexual intimacy is to be enjoyed in this context. God cares for us and does not want us to get hurt, so it’s his plan that we save ourselves and then enjoy sex for intimacy and also for pro-creation, so that we too may be fruitful and multiply in number (Genesis 1:28).

At this point I want to make it clear that waiting until marriage to have sex is not an optional extra, extra-marital sexual relationships are clearly condemned as being sinful and an offence to God ( Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor 5:1, Eph 5:3, Jude 7 etc). It provides yet another barrier to relationship with him.

An unforgivable sin?

For those of you who are wondering at this point what you should do if you have already engaged in sexual activity with someone, I have good news. Once you are a Christian, You are a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Cor 5:17). You can be forgiven by God, and start again with a fresh start. You may not be able to be a virgin again, but you can know total freedom from the guilt that you may well feel and you have a brand new start, to live life to the full as Jesus promises. The Bible emphatically declares in Romans 8:1 ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus! If you feel dirty right now, accept Christ and he will cleanse you from all unrighteousness ( 1 John 1:8-9).

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When we are looking for an example on what a Christian attitude to alcohol should be we need not look any further than Jesus Christ himself.

Jesus and Booze

Although sometimes people have adopted many caricatures of what Jesus is like, that he was some sort of boring man endlessly preaching, and being very, very serious we find a very refreshing review of his character in his early ministry. The very first miracle we see Jesus doing is to turn water into wine at a wedding (John 2:1-12). This was not just any old cheap plonk either! One of the great things to come out of this story is that the man in charge of the banquet presumed that the wine Jesus had provided was the finest of wines. I personally see this as Jesus being a man with great taste; he would have been drinking San Miguel not Carling, Bulmer’s not White Lightning, Jacob’s Creek not Lambrini!!

Joking aside though, this shows us that Jesus is not anti-alcohol and we see later on that he actually encourages us to drink wine to remind us of the blood that he shed for us on the cross (Luke 22:14-23).

Joy on Spirits vs Joy in the Spirit..?!

The Bible does teach us that it is wrong to get drunk on wine (Eph 5:18), but encourages us instead to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Clearly, you don’t have to be a genius to see the major negatives that being drunk brings to society so I will not insult your intelligence in outlining them to you, or feel free to pick up a copy of The Daily Mail tomorrow for yourself.

Receiving the Holy Spirit provides authentic joy, fulfilment and contentment but without the escapism and ruin that excessive alcohol consumption often results in.

Paul writes to the Corinthians the very diplomatic ‘Everything is permissible for me -but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything’ (1 Corinthians 6:12). If you struggle in the area of alcohol it is advisable to steer clear altogether.

In summary, God gives us freedom in this area to decide if we wish to consume alcohol in moderation or not, but we should be careful not to over-indulge or allow alcohol lead us into sin.

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This is a very common question asked among Christians. The Bible does not actually have anything to say specifically on the subject of girlfriends/boyfriends. However, there are several principles that we can apply to this life question.

 Purpose and Authority
 
Firstly, we must ask the question what is the ultimate purpose of ‘going out’ with someone? The Bible unequivocally states that it is good for us to have sexual desire for the opposite sex, it’s something that God invented (See the article on the Christian’s attitude to Sex). But like every good thing given by God it must be put in its proper context, and not become the ultimate thing in and of itself.

Although not everyone will get married in a lifetime, the vast majority of Christians will. This is good and commended by the Bible as the rightful place for intimacy, in a secure covenant relationship with one another. So if marriage that glorifies God is the end result what should we look for?

The Bible does say that we should not yoke ourselves together with people who are non-Christians (2 Cor 6:14-18) and again, we see similar instruction given to believers who are widowed (1 Cor 7:39). Ultimately, if Jesus is Lord of your life you will give authority to him to speak into every area of your life because it says so in his word, and he knows best.

Imagine how strange you would think I was by saying ‘ Yeah, I’m a Christian, I spend time with God every day, read the Bible, go to church, have a Christian spouse but I do rather enjoy stealing’. You can’t choose what areas you submit to God in, because you feel like it in some areas not others. That isn’t part of the deal. Your relationship with God was bought at a high price, the death of God’s only Son.

Illustration
 
As well as loving God for ourselves we have been called by God to share our faith with others so they may too be saved (Matt 28:19-20). One of the supreme purposes of marriage is that God has chosen to paint a picture of his relationship with his people (the church) through marriage (Eph 5:21-33). In verse 21 it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. How can you both do this unless you both revere Jesus as Lord in your lives?

 I have spoken to Christians in the past who have made excuses such as ‘But, he respects my faith’ , ‘ We’re not sleeping together’, ‘We both love each other’ and ‘ If God didn’t want us to be together he would have stopped us’. The reality is that God allows us to choose him or not, he allows us to cultivate a relationship with someone that is wrong. Part of the dignity of being a human is we get to choose.

I once heard it said that if you are stood on a chair it is much easier for the person to pull you off the chair, than for you to pull them up onto it. It is not easy to lead someone to Christ. In fact I would say that 99% of my friends who have gone out with someone who was a non-Christian have been dragged away from God through gradual compromise in their life.

Once you have compromised in going out with a non-believer, even with the best of intentions it is very easy to end up compromising on sexual experiences. At least when there are two of you with an agreed goal you can help to support one another, whereas fighting on your own you are very likely to slip up, which will lead to you feeling guilty, and can eat up at your intimacy with God. This can also impact going to church, and seeing your Christian friends.

If we ignore these things then there are consequences to us ignoring God. We can end up missing out on God’s plans for our life. Ananias and Saphira were a couple dealt with very severely by God for lying to the Holy Spirit about what they would do with their money (Acts 5:1-11). When we became a Christian we offered our lives to God as worship to him (Romans 12:1), its so important to continue to do that even now.

Full life and Trust in the Lord
 
Ultimately, we need to remember that God is for us not against us (Rom 8:31), wants us to have life to the full (John 10:10) and has a plan for us to prosper our lives and not harm us (Jer 29:11-12). He is such a good God that he sent Jesus to die for our sin. If you can trust him with your salvation for eternity, why not also trust him your love life?

Though your feelings for the person are, no doubt, very strong, who knows best what is right for you? The All-Wise God who has been around forever or you? I know that I dare not trust my own judgement over God’s on such important matters. He is faithful to give good gifts to those who he has saved.

I would recommend talking this through with a Christian who you trust as you are likely to have some big decisions to make with implications. Don’t try and deal with this all on your own, Christian life is to be in done in community.

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